The breakdown of a marriage
is difficult under even the "best" of circumstances but it can be made
much worse when a couple ends up locked in bitter litigation, fighting over custody
or alimony, and using the legal process as a way to settle old scores. A family
can literally be torn apart with everyone coming out on the losing end of a long
court battle.
That is why I am an enthusiastic supporter of The Collaborative Divorce
process. It is an approach that is still relatively new in New Jersey, only having
been adopted by the Legislature in 2014. Many couples facing a divorce are completely
unaware that there is this option to consider.
One reason so few people know about The Collaborative Divorce process is
that many divorce lawyers in Bergen County NJ are still uncertain about what it
is and how it works.
How Collaborative Divorce works
A Collaborative Divorce starts with a couple and their lawyers entering
into a participation agreement. The essence of this agreement is that the couple
and their respective lawyers agree that they will cooperate, in good faith, in trying
to resolve all issues relating to the divorce without resorting to litigation. The
divorce lawyers in Bergen County NJ agree that they will not represent their client
in any contested divorce matter against the other spouse. It is a very simple agreement
but it accomplishes an important objective. It establishes a framework from the
outset in which there is great incentive to cooperate.
Another important change in the way Collaborative Divorce works is that
if the couple decides to retain experts, they can do so jointly. Often times it
helps if the couple retains a divorce coach who provides neutral guidance and feedback
on how the parties are interacting and to help keep everyone
positively engaged in the process. If there are
emotional issues to be resolved, then together the parties will hire a therapist
or counselor who will provide advice. Similarly, financial issues will be addressed
by retaining a financial/forensic expert who works for the couple, or with a therapist
trained in dealing with children and other issues that come up frequently in the
divorce process. This is another crucial
way to avoid the pitfalls of an adversarial approach, by working with experts to
provide disinterested advice instead of hiring experts to promote one side against
the other. The idea of a joint expert (usually frowned upon by litigators) can be
embraced in a Collaborative Divorce as a less costly way to achieve the same or
perhaps an even better result.
positively engaged in the process. If there are
emotional issues to be resolved, then together the parties will hire a therapist
or counselor who will provide advice. Similarly, financial issues will be addressed
by retaining a financial/forensic expert who works for the couple, or with a therapist
trained in dealing with children and other issues that come up frequently in the
divorce process. This is another crucial
way to avoid the pitfalls of an adversarial approach, by working with experts to
provide disinterested advice instead of hiring experts to promote one side against
the other. The idea of a joint expert (usually frowned upon by litigators) can be
embraced in a Collaborative Divorce as a less costly way to achieve the same or
perhaps an even better result.
In short, the concept of Collaborative Divorce gives clients and divorce lawyers in Bergen County NJ an opportunity to think about divorce in a different
and more constructive way. As a divorce lawyer in Bergen County, many new clients
come to my office looking to hire the toughest lawyer he/she can find so they are
sometimes surprised when I introduce the concept of Collaborative Divorce. I find
most people are actually quite receptive to the idea once they understand it. I
think that is because it is so much easier to be friendly than to fight -even for
a couple ending their marriage.
No doubt a collaborative approach makes particular sense for divorcing couples
with children, in order to avoid having the children caught in the crossfire of
a courtroom battle. Collaborative Divorce even makes sense when no kids and custody
issues are involved. When the parties allow themselves the freedom to negotiate
without the threat of litigation, I have found the negotiations to be friendly and
the results to be creative, thoughtful and more productive for all members of the
family.
Our divorce lawyer in Bergen
County NJ can assist you in closing this difficult chapter of your life. When all
is said and done, the end result of a Collaborative Divorce may end up pretty much
the same as a traditional approach. But a new way to think about resolving the issues
nonetheless often proves tremendously beneficial in improving a family's quality
of life.
Are you looking for an experienced divorce lawyer in Bergen County NJ?
Contact Feitlin, Youngman, Karas and Gerson today at (201) 791-4400.
Our experienced divorce lawyers in Bergen County NJ are available to the following areas:
